A Collection of Random Nonsense

The incoherent thoughts of someone who has it all figured out this time

Dear Diary: Io Lupercalia (Part 2)

06 Aug 2026 - VelikTzar

Words: like 2000?. Time: No Fucking Idea, Pal


Still the 15th of February.

You keep walking forward.There are geese screaming. Won’t they ever shut up? Why must they follow you everywhere, have they not disturbed your sleep enough? You like birds, but geese, they have nothing in their hearts. Maybe Rome should have fallen the first time.1

You stand before Primrose Hill. It is dusk now. Gone’s the Sun’s warmth, and one can barely make out the world around you. A fresh cigarette burning in your mouth, you keep going up. As you could have expected, the top is crowded, and people have pulled out cameras. It is fitting that it’s dark now. With darkness comes death, and what better place to be, than the city of the dead? 2

It is dark. You are all alone, surrounded by the mass of people, couples and large friend groups alike. Your heart has sunk low now. Look at them, happy in each other’s company! And you, a dark cloud coming down upon them! How dare they be happy together, on this day of days?!

A raven, black as the descending night, flies in front of you, almost hitting you. You are jealous. You can’t help but envy the gods, for only they get to feel anger. If you had the power to remake reality, that would finally give you a way for your honor to be satiated, for the injury that you have suffered to be redressed. The raven and the crow now always remember their betrayal 3.

But no, it doesn’t matter how much your heart churns, raging like the sea against its confines, there is little in your power you can do. To simply rage without achieving redress is pathetic and childish. And, being a citizen in a democratic society, you cannot act in a way that would harm another’s dignity, the necessary concession we make for civilization.4 To simply state your dissatisfaction to the offending party, and exclude them from your life would not bring you any satisfaction either, for they’d not suffer, unless they cared about you, and your relations with them mattered to them. But then, were that the case, you might well care about them. And there always is the eternal question - Are you overreacting? You are not hysterical, after all.
No. And,of course, what is there to be lost, that most horrible of questions? They are always watching. And once you get to that, to these questions, the emotions burning inside you would have subdued, and you would seethe quietly, and wish that there was a way for your anger to be satisfied, at least once in this wretched life! Once again betrayed by the physical world, you wish but for your Will, your unbound Will to flow and clash with that of the offender, crushing it and swallowing them whole. But, as fun as the hypothetical is, you’re not angry now. You have no reason to be. If something gets you angry, a cigarette and it shall pass. Why make a mountain out of a molehill? You’d seem unreasonable. You’re not unreasonable! There are appearances to keep up, and appearances are everything.

Gaze upon London! See his beauty, see Mystery, Babylon the Great, the Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth in all his glory.What was the beating heart of the world; a monument to the industry and avarice of man! How could anyone master this beast? How could anyone rise above the millions of desparate souls!

You are not angry, no, if anything, you feel a bit empty. When you look to the horizon, does the horizon reflect all the longing of those who dream of something beyond it? Could it not? Same for you, you long, long for what? A tension that shan’t go away, that can only partially rest before being reawakened. A gnawing, deep in your soul. But without it, why would anyone go forward? Contentment is the enemy.
You think this, but have you ever known contentment?You’ve always known that beautiful Troy shall fall, and Priam’s people shall perish,5 and thus you have never been content.

You look upon the world again, the last touches of pink disappearing behind the skyline. You want.
You want it served up on a silver spoon, the blood, the dirt, the sickle moon.
You’ll take it as you’re won​t to do.
You’ll eat the world then eat the spoon.
Can’t you be the one for once?
Can’t you get what you want?6


Sources: Ovid, Metamorphoses, Book 2: The Raven and the Crow, translation by Denis Feeney, 2004
Polybius. The Histories, Volume VI: Books 28-39. Fragments. p.490-491. Translated by W. R. Paton.Loeb Classical Library 161. 201
Hesiod, Works and Days, translation by A. E. Stallings, 2018Nagy, Gregory. 2013.
The Ancient Greek Hero in 24 Hours. Hour 12-13
Lane, Melissa, 2014. Greek and Roman Political Ideas: A Pelican Introduction. Chapter 1: Justice
May L., 2019. Ancient Legal Thought: Equity, Justice, and Humaneness From Hammurabi and the Pharaohs to Justinian and the Talmud. Section VII - 22: Hubris and ImpietyButton., M.E. 2016: Political Vices. Chapter 2: The Anti-Politics of Hubris: Vice of Sovereignty
**

 

  1. Referring to the first sack of Rome around 390 BC, where the Senones, under their chieftain Brennus, defeated the Romans, and sacked the city, with the exception of the Capitoline Hill. When attempting to scale the hill, the Romans were alerted not by their guards, or dogs, but by the geese sacred to Juno. Why the Author references this here would be up for debate, if one were not familiar with their endless need to spout little pieces of trivia, as if to compensate for their shallow and pretentious nature. The first sack of Rome is also the origin of the quote woe to the vanquished. The Romans had agreed to pay the Gauls tribute to leave, but they used heavier weights for the scales than had been agreed upon. When the Romans protested, Brennus threw his sword on the scales, and uttered Vae Victis. According to Livy, the manly Romans wouldn’t let this insult last long. But the Author has been known to be fond of the quote, indeed, a look through the now lost blue diary “the book of things”, reveals it mentioned many times, in triumphal victory and ignominious defeat. 

  2. There have been plans to turn Primrose Hill into a necropolis. Though this work has had proper research done, one believes that the Author’s sole knowledge of this had come from a BlueJay YouTube video. 

  3. Referring to the story The Raven and the Crow in Book 2 of Ovid’s Metamorphoses (the superior Metamorphoses). It’s the story of how the Raven lost its white plumage, and it became black, after it exposed Apollo’s beloved as being unfaithful, and for being a tattle-tale, Apollo cursed it (and killed his unchaste beloved). On its way to warn the god, the Raven was accosted by the Crow, which warned it of how it lost Athena’s favor by tattling on one of the daughters of Cecrops that had disobeyed her instructions, and was replaced by the owl. In lines 537-8, the Raven’s white feathers are compared to the watchful geese of the Capitol, which is perhaps an attempt by the Author to reference their earlier comment about the geese, and why they chose this story, out of the many about divine anger. 

  4. Hubris. The Author is here quite obviously wishing to display hubris in the original meaning of the word. Outrage, that is, something contrasted with dikē, justice, or the natural order of things. In Hesiod’s Works & Days, one of the Author’s favorites, the First, or Golden Generation’s respect for dikē (their kingly gift, for dikē means judgement, the privelege of kings) is contrasted with the Second, or Silver Generation’s hubris to each other and disrespect to the Gods, for which they are cut down in their youth. One of the author’s favorite refrains is from the Works and Days:Were I not among the Fifth, I’m torn;Would I be better dead or not yet born? - For this is an Iron Age indeed -Suffering never ceases for our breed;cont’d: 7
     

  5. According to Polybius, when Scipio Aemelianus saw Carthage burning, his command a success, he wept, and quoted the Iliad, because he saw in Ilium and Carthage what shall inevitably befall his own city, and the fate of all affairs of man. 

  6. KiNG MALA, 2026, EAT THE SPOON 

  7. Hesiod, as Nagy puts it, is in a world (the Iron Age), where dikē and hubris are engaged in a bitter struggle, and that is, of course, our world. This is an inherently postheroic world, as Homeric heroes are rarely described in such terms. The suitors that vied for prudent Penelope’s hand are described as hubristai, of course. But the Odyssey is the last great adventure, Odysseus the last great hero of the Trojan war. Ithaca in his absence is the closest one gets to a post-heroic context in Homer. The Greeks recognized the Trojan War as the last great showing of their heroes, and the stories after that are the stories of homecoming of the great heroes, and anything that comes after are the stories of their children, e.g. the Oresteia, the Telegony, and the latter life of Neoptolemus; but these are in a way just tying loose ends. Not that one suggests that Odysseus or the other heroes are exemplary paragons of virtue. Greek cult heroes are complicated men, and they display both dikē and hubris. One needs to only look at Odysseus’s taunting of Polyphemus, for is that not “doing and saying things at which the victim incurs shame, not in order that one may achieve anything other than what is done but simply to get pleasure from it”, as Aristotle would define hubris. But it is not simple arrogance. Those that are arrogant already feel themselves superior, if unjustly so, and they have no use for the other, not that they still might not do them harm as a consequence. The hubristai, on the other hand, gain their sense of superiority, and rise to power by mistreating the other, starting with that intent is what distinguishes it from mere arrogance.cont’d: 8
     

  8. What the Author here seems to try and say is that if one takes this and applies it to a society, it is obvious how hubris ends up a crime in ancient Greek societies, such as Athens. Performing hubristic acts towards another citizen inherently rejects the idea that all citizens are equally worthy of dignity, and if they are not, that some must then be superior to others; and they, that is those who stand in the way of the hubristai’s advancement worthless when compared to the pursuit of power. One thinks it self-evident how such mindset and behavior would lead to a tyrannical state, where one (or few) men have been able to secure for themselves such power to act and their will be the law (or to be outside the law, rather, to set the law for others but to be able to do injustice as they wish), and the rest are bitter and vengeful, and how it is fundamentally at odds with a democratic one. Of course, in an honor-obsessed society, for the ancient Greeks were one, the desire for revenge (as opposed to justice) is strong, and vengeance, though increasing your honor, will invariably humiliate the other, and they should have to retaliate; but that is one of the first hallmarks of the emergence of the polis, and of ancient Greek law, that is, the taking of disputes out of private hands and into courts. Elite dispute resolution was how they had begun, one can see the shield of Achilles, for example. But by the Classical Age, in a democracy like Athens, mass citizen participation in the courts as all-powerful juries was part of the bedrock of democratic societies. Any citizen that offended another could be held accountable. Thus, the Author’s conclusion (one can only try and divine their reasoning based on scattered notes, quotes and common sense) that they no doubt consider profound, even if it is in fact staggeringly obvious, and is akin to the “We live in a society” popular internet meme from years past - to satisfy their anger they’d need to do harm to the other for them to suffer as they have, but to do so would humiliate them, inevitably destablizing the democratic society, as they’d need to retaliate or be shamed, and anyone who elevates themselves by humiliating others is a threat, so for a democratic society to exist, citizens cannot act on their anger. Or, as a sixteen year old when the Joker (2019) movie came out could just as well put it - We live in a society”.